How to raise a teenager?
Many young parents think that changing their diapers to their child and not sleeping at night due to the incessant crying of the baby is the most difficult thing. But as their offspring grows up, they realize that they were very mistaken. Problems of education of adolescents are always relevant, especially in our time: when progress rushes at breakneck speed, and the child tries to run with him in one measure. It is very difficult to keep track of the child, so that he does not get into a bad company, does not acquire bad habits and hobbies, etc. And especially difficult is given education of difficult teenagers. In order for the process of raising your child to go as smoothly and efficiently as possible, every parent needs to know how to raise a teenager.
Be parents, not friends
It is worth forgetting about becoming a friend to your son or girlfriend for your daughter. This is absolutely not what a teenager needs. A real, strong friendship will come much later, ten years from now. Needless to say, it is necessary to preserve the spiritual intimacy between parents and children, but this should not be friendship at all.Of course, you can say to a teenager: "You can tell me everything, I will never judge you." But, what if a teenager tells you something really extremely dangerous for him? Do you have to condemn him? Talking with your child is necessary on various topics, but never promise him that you will support him in absolutely any endeavors. You must be firm in your values, principles, and norms of behavior. Expect resistance and be ready for it. The reality is that the time of dangerous experiments is just a teenage age. It is difficult for a teenager to make the right decisions, as well as to be guided by common sense. Therefore, this task must be performed by his parents. Features of education of adolescents imply the moment that it is the parents who must make the right decisions and prompt them to their child. The child must understand that you are his mom and dad, not friends. And therefore, if parents say no, then this is a firm no, which cannot mean yes but later.
Keep up with progress
It would seem, Odnoklassniki, YouTube, Facebook, DJs, emo, what could be interesting here? Do you, as a parent,you can not spend time on something more interesting except how to study these things? No you can not! If your child is interested in it, and most likely he is interested in it, then your direct responsibility is also to be interested in it. But not in order to secretly read the correspondence of the child with their peers, but in order not to lose an emotional connection with him. It is worth occasionally sending funny sms or postcards to your child’s cell phone. This will help not only to show the teenager how “advanced” his parents are, but also to stay in touch with the child unobtrusively. You can also register on popular Internet resources such as Odnoklassniki, V kontakte, etc., and add as friends to your child. So you will know not only his friends, but you will be able to see his interests and the manner of communication, which will “tell” you about many things.
Your taste is outdated
Raising adolescents in the family also implies the problem of diverse views on things. Teen all the time experimenting with new hairstyles, friends, music, clothes. He is trying to find his place in society, and wants to understand who he is.The external image of a teenager reflects his inner world, the state of searching for himself. For parents, the main thing is not to interfere with their child in this search, of course, only if his behavior is acceptable. Namely, if he has no problems with the law, he learns well and observes moral norms. In this case, it is necessary, gritting his teeth, to support him. The only thing is that parents of a teenage girl need to pay attention to the fact that she does not wear too frank outfits, as this can be dangerous for her. In this case, parents should definitely intervene.
Methods of educating adolescents put the rule "do not spy" in the first place. In most cases it is better to keep as far away from the personal things of a teenager as possible. After all, even if during the “search” you find something unacceptable and forbidden for you, and then inform the teenager about it, he will focus on which of the ways you found it, and not what you found. Thus, the forbidden fruit will be even sweeter. If you are concerned about the behavior of the child or think that he may have some dangerous things, it would be much better if you ask about it directly.Of course, a teenager may begin to deny all your fears, but he will begin to understand that you care about him and are concerned about his behavior.
Do not wear "pink glasses"
The majority of parents, looking at their offspring, see perfect angels. But, unfortunately, the real picture has absolutely nothing to do with this perception. Of course, it is good to know all sorts of recommendations for the education of adolescents, but if you persistently ignore problems, then no advice will help. It does not matter how well your child is raised, as well as what life values your whole family adheres to. The chance that your child is doing something that you would not like is very great. Unfortunately, this is confirmed by statistics: 75% of teenagers by the end of the 10th grade had already tried alcohol, as many had tried to smoke, and 1 in 5 teenagers admitted that they had posed in nude. And these things are just “flowers” in comparison with drugs or sex. Therefore, you should not act like an ostrich hiding its head in the sand, but rather discuss with your child all the unpleasant aspects that may appear in the life of every teenager.Also, the best way to understand the thinking of a teenager is the need to remember yourself at his age, because you most likely know very well how sometimes you would like to disobey your parents or do something forbidden. Therefore, be a little indulgent and tell your child what you did in your youth and what consequences your actions had.