Why do we time each other?
This question, for sure, was asked by each of us, and more than a dozen times. Sometimes it is so difficult to understand why a person lied or did not tell the whole truth in any situation, although, according to statistics, there is not a single person in the world who has never lied.
Moreover, if you believe all the same data, then every day an ordinary person can lie from 10 to 50 times, in most cases without even noticing it! Needless to say, not without reason, they say that the whole world is a theater, and the people in it are actors.
Whatever one may say, but each of us in this world plays its own specific role, to some extent, obeying certain frameworks and principles that were formed long before our appearance.
Why is this so? If you just can not understand why people are lying to each other, then think about what would happen if everyone spoke solely about the truth? Yes, the world would have turned upside down! And all because it is impossible to live in a modern civilized society without, at least small, accusations.
Just imagine: you are meeting with a friend to walk, she appears at a meeting in a dress that frankly fills her and does not fit her figure at all.Why upset a person and spoil the mood before a walk and tell all your real impressions?
It is better to keep quiet tactfully or to lie that the dress suits her. Of course, this may not be fair, but you understand perfectly well that at the moment it will be better for both of you. Or another option: you found out that your friend's husband is cheating on her, but how can you tell her about it? After all, you know perfectly well how it hurts her, perhaps destroy their relationship, and possibly break someone's life.
A third option is also possible - as you know, the cute ones curse, they only amuse themselves, a couple will reconcile with time, and you will remain the messenger of misfortune and sorrow, if not the enemy number one. And here again you are silent about the truth in order to avoid such a heap of unpleasant situations.
All of the above situations are characterized by a lie, but, so to speak, an innocent lie, which helps us to live easier, not to feel anger or misunderstanding for others around us, it is easier to live. But a lie has many guises, and the positive ones are much smaller than the negative ones.
Lying is bad, and not even because you mislead a person, but because sooner or later a lie always comes out.
This is where serious problems begin: the best friends turn away, loved ones stop believing, and former lovers begin to despise and disappear from your life.
There are such people who can easily be attributed to pathological liars, they live in lies and are not going to change anything, because they are all satisfied.
Look closely, you, for sure, will be able to see such people in your environment: they are often nervous, escape from direct answers, and much of what they say later turns out to be complete nonsense and untruth. Why is this happening that motivates people to constantly lie?
There are a number of reasons and similar situations, when confronted with it, the majority of people begin to behave according to a common scenario of lies. Thus, it can be divided into different degrees and types.
- "Lie for good." Sometimes in life there are situations where telling the truth becomes a very difficult task that not everyone can cope with. For example, how do you tell someone from relatives that he is terminally ill or explain to the child that his father left in infancy,leaving to fend for yourself? It is here that tales and beautiful stories begin to be written, it is better to tell a lie than to finish off a person or break the unstable psyche of a small child. Nobody will tell you in such a situation how to do the right thing, say, be silent or come up with some kind of story, everyone is free to act within his life convictions. It’s bad that as a child grows up, the child will find out the truth anyway, but if he understands why the mother did not tell this earlier, this is another question.
- The pursuit of personal interests. A person to learn to lie from a very young age, only if it becomes funny and awkward for three-year-old children, then in adulthood it is almost impossible to see through a person that he is lying. In childhood, we lied that “the vase itself was broken,” and my mother's cosmetics “themselves spoiled and poured out of the tubes,” the child comes up with such silly arguments to avoid punishment. In adulthood, we deceive the boss that the report is already ready and the graphics are built, not because you are such a bad person, but because you are afraid of the same punishment: to fly out of work or get a severe reprimand.
- Complexes.Often the reason, inexplicable from the side, lies, becomes low self-esteem. For example, women who have problems on a personal front come up with dozens of imaginary suitor, and men who can’t get a high-paying job can tell everyone how they live well and what they can afford, even if it’s not so .
- For the sake of art. There are also such cases: people who have nothing interesting happening in life, or so it seems to them, begin to embellish their own lives with fascinating stories that tell their girlfriends or friends. They are in no way looking for benefits in their own lies, they just want to be listened to, the conversation was more intense and interesting for others.
- A very unpleasant and stupid kind of lie - for the sake of dating. People exaggerate their own merits, embellish their own past in order to please the potential partner as much as possible. For example, adds a couple of zeros to their own salary, hide the number of previous partners, paint their vibrant nightlife, although, in fact, sits all day at home and so on.To interest another person, I want to seem better, “cooler”, so to speak, than it actually is. It’s a pity, but if you really have a serious romance, all your fabrications will still appear and you will have to do something about it. So maybe it’s better not to lie at once and look for a person you might like the way you are?
How to stop lying?
Sometimes you want so much to take and completely get rid of lies, however, such a step is far from everyone can do. If you feel that your level of lies rolls over, you are completely bogged down in your fictional stories, then you need to do something about it.
Firstly, this fact is important to recognize and realize that telling a lie is a habit for you, which becomes the cause of your many life troubles. It is important not to forget that nobody is perfect, everyone has mistakes, but now you have decided to improve and you will not back down from it.
Take courage and try to tell people the truth about yourself, confess to them a lie that could hurt them, explain why they did it and tell them that now repent and want to start a new life.
Someone get angry and will not want to communicate with you anymore, and someone will laugh with you and accept you with your shortcomings. Unfortunately, there are also those who will disappear from your life forever, but what to do, it's only you who are to blame, but now you will not repeat the previous mistakes.
Try to write fantastic stories, it is possible that you have a real writer who has nowhere to throw out his feelings and emotions.