Why is the search for the perfect man doomed to failure?

Instead of guessing, we turned to science and collected several facts that completely destroy the "theory of halves." Although no, they just give us once again to make sure that the “second half” and “soul mate” for you are you, and other people, and men in particular, are not created to supplement you, which is still not cancels the fact that they can make your life happier.

Fact number 1. You can not predict your future together.

But you can try very hard and imagine drawing it in your mind, and then stumble upon a completely different scenario in reality and be completely disappointed in your partner. That is the conclusion reached by scientists of the American Psychological Association, who found that couples who believe in "romantic destiny" are more prone to conflicts and partitions than couples who do not explain their union to the magical "we were made for each other."

Why is the search for the perfect man doomed to failure?

Fact number 2.Complement each other is actually a dangerous thing.

This is the conclusion reached by scientists at the University of Chicago, analyzing the example of married couples with such a thing as “emotional suffocation” - a feeling that the partners in these couples described, admitting that they do not express themselves in anything other than marriage, and consider the family the only achievement own life. It turns out that feeling oneself is not a half of a union, but a separate whole is better - it makes you stronger, and interdependence and annulment of yourself in a relationship, on the contrary, is weaker and more vulnerable.

Fact number 3. As mammals, we are not at all monogamous.

In the animal world, monogamy adheres to 90% of birds and only 3% of mammals. So either you are a dove of love, or society could push natural instincts (but, as we see, not too far, otherwise it would not have changed) and convince you in the process of education that having a new “unique” almost every month it is something terrible and unnatural.

Fact No. 4. Quarrels are an inevitable part of even “ideal” relationships.

The American Journal of Experimental Social Psychology explored how idealization influences conflict resolution, and it turns out that coupleswho believe that love and harmonious relations should constitute a perfect unbreakable union, it was more difficult to overcome crises and temporary difficulties in relations precisely at the expense of their unrealistic views.

Why is the search for the perfect man doomed to failure?

Fact number 5. Strong relationships take time, not magic.

Is it enough to be “made for each other” for the relationship to last happily? Scientists from the Syracuse University insist that no divine providence and half theory exists since the risk of divorce, according to statistics, decreases with each passing year together in an arithmetic progression. So no magic, sheer patience and compromise!

Fact number 6. Passion can generate violence.

Scientists of the American Psychological Association have shown that couples who call all-consuming love and passionate passion as integral components of relationships tend to normalize both physical and psychological violence in their union, explaining it to be excessive sensuality and falling in love. As an example, you yourself can remember couples who consider jealousy a manifestation of love and are so sure of this that they are even unable to realize that they live in their own union as in a high-security prison.

Fact number 7.Variants of the "halves" are innumerable

Perhaps, with the advent of mobile applications, we could have guessed that the number of probable “only ones” is now impossible to count, considering that today you can manage to organize several dates in one day and increase your own chances of finding the person who suits you. And scientists at the University of Houston have also discovered that the realization that everything in your “second half” does not end up allows you to survive the separation and divorce much easier and come to the realization that you can still love another person - and not time! - since you understand that the "only" actually has a plural.

Why is the search for the perfect man doomed to failure?